I usually post on the over 40 board, but after 2 1/2 years TTC and nearing age 42, my DH and I are considering DE. It's been difficult for him and he's only just come around to DE and he is still a bit uncomfortable. I don't have as big a problem with it - until now.
We are discussing asking a friend or family member since both of us are more comfortable with this than an anonymous donor.
However, I am suddenly having lots of weird feelings. DH and I both excelled academically and we are both very musical and I'm finding myself trying to find these qualities in a donor, as well as someone who resembles me. Despite wanting a child so badly and believing profoundly in unconditional love, I'm finding that my ego is getting in the way. However irrational, I feel like the child will be a reflection of us. I wonder if I would love a tone deaf or unintelligent child as much as a really talented one.
I feel ashamed writing this. I almost want to be anonymous but I don't like anon posts so there it is. Yucky thoughts and feelings, ealy in the DE process. Sigh.