Early in my IF journey I forced myself to attend baby showers and other "kid/baby" activities because of the guilt of not going. I eventually I learned that taking care of me was the most important thing (didn't do that on my own, had some help from a great counselor). I just started giving gift/gift card outside of celebration. If people are aware of your journey, share you reasons and people that care about you will understand. If people do not know, I just made up some excuse. It is not worth the anxiety that comes before, the torture of sitting through the festivities, and the depressed feeling after the activities. You could suddenly get sick today if you need an excuse for the shower today. Your feelings are completely normal. Don't beat yourself up with the guilt, I know easier said then done. Your feeling are your feelings, they are not food or bad.