Sometimes I had a last minute stomach bug or cold, and sometimes I was very honest and up front...but I usually begged off the baby showers. I even begged off a welcome home for a newly adopted baby. I just couldn't do it. The few times I forced myself to attend such events, I had meltdowns before and after. It just isn't worth the pain. Nothing is worth that pain and the endless conversations and questions from relative strangers about when your "time will come" yadda yadda...why do this to yourself, sweetie?