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Beauty or Brains?

March 27 2012 at 5:23 PM
Anonymous  (Login Missy0809)


Ok, my subject line is a play on words, but here is my real question. We are working with a clinic that does not have a ton of donors. We are trying to match the donor's physical features to me as closely as we can because we don't plan to tell anyone we used a donor. We were presented our first donor candidate last week and her physical traits don't match me (she is taller, different color eyes). But, her responses to the open-ended questions were great. She seems to be smart and have a good head on her shoulders, and I could see myself in some of her answers. I'm struggling with what is ultimately more important - someone who gives us a higher chance of having a child that looks like it came from me and my husband, or, someone who might give us a higher chance of a child with a good head on it's shoulders. Given the fact that this is our first option, we don't know if we should just go with her because we don't know when another option will come, or if we should be more patient and wait until the clinic finds a donor that more closely matches my physicalities. Obviously I know this is ultimately our decision but would love to hear others' opinions.

 Respond to this message   

  1. go with your heart - green.elephant on Mar 27, 2012
    1. Re: go with your heart - Anonymous on Mar 27, 2012
      1. pros and cons - green.elephant on Mar 27, 2012
  2. I chose brains (kids ment) - BlessedThistle on Mar 27, 2012
  4. I'd go with brains every time nt - thesameboat on Mar 28, 2012
  6. You just never know - SDM on Mar 28, 2012
  8. Listen to your gut when choosing...m - Hope2009 on Mar 28, 2012
  10. Good question - BBG on Mar 28, 2012
    1. Re: Good question - Original Poster on Mar 28, 2012
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