Hoping some of you can help me figure out my feelings.
We are gearing up for a DE cycle (still looking for donor, but have clinic picked out) and I'm having a lot of doubts and worries about my age.
I am in my late 40s. I look pretty damn good for my age. Most people would easily put me at 10-15 years younger. But no one escapes the ravages of time, and I see little things here and there, including my eyesight, that are not what they once were.
I'm having a lot of doubts and questions as to whether I should do this or not. I can't figure out my own feelings or whether I am letting society's judgement influence my own feelings.
How old is too old? I know it's personal, but how does one figure that out? I know I wouldn't want to go past 50, that's the only thing I know for sure.
The thought of not having a child leaves me feeling hollow and empty and that I will have failed in that area of my life. I really, really, really want a child and so does my husband. On many days, I am absolutely sure I can do this and want to do it and have no fear. And then there are days like today when I worry if I can handle a pregnancy and raising a child at this age in my life.
I have a friend whose mother was older (in her 40s) when she had her and it was never really a big deal.
Although I'm in excellent health, you just never know when you're going to leave this world. What if I do when my child is 15? or 10? or 5?
Has anyone else here had these feelings and how did you figure it out?
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