You're right, grief is grief, and it always makes us do/say things we wouldn't otherwise do or say. I just think there are so many people here in various stages of grief (myself included) that we sometimes post or respond to posts in ways that others find offensive. It happens. But it's ok.. really. I'm sure you'll never post again without putting the right tags in your subject line.
As for your career, something WILL work out. I'm sure this has been a big blow to you, but it clearly wasn't meant to be... I can't suggest anything because I don't know you, but I have heard you mention dance more than once - does anything related to dance interest you (teaching, running a studio, etc..)? I know you've done some of those things before, but could you see doing it for a long-term career?
I'm a teacher, but only because I was honestly "called" into it. Mind you, I was 35 when I changed careers entirely, having previously been a miserably unhappy research scientist.. I love it and know it's what I was meant to do, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. You just have to find the thing that's right for you. Keep looking, keep exploring... you'll figure it out.