I agree. When we chose our donor 6 months ago, I was still feeling anxiety about even using a donor. As we have waiting for her availability in these last months, I have slowly warmed to the idea. In that time, my DH and I have talked about the importance of our child being able to meet the donor if they wanted to. So, instead of putting my feelings of inadequacy first (which I did 6 mos ago) I was thinking about my child.
When it was time to sign the legal agreement, we asked the donor if she would change her decision from being anonymous to meeting our child one day if they wanted to meet her. She decided to stay anonymous (aside from medical issues) and we decided since she was such a fantastic donor in every way, we are okay with this.
We do have a very thorough profile with lots of photos and I have notes from the social worker who met her at my clinic.
Somehow we are okay with how it turned out. It is important to note that our feelings did change over time.
Best of luck to you! This is one of the hardest parts of the process.
Violet
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