I can completely understand the way you are feeling. M/c are awful and come with so much heartache and it's completely natural for these feelings to come up for you now.
My mum always said hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I believe that these fears have their place in preparing our subconscious for the worst case scenario. Remember that this is all it is. Your stats sound great, so try not to just focus on preparing for the worst. Instead, just hope for the best!
Thinking of you and sending big hugs!
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