I really appreciated reading the varying opinions on whether to look at donor photos or not from the post last week. I didn't really think about it from the child's perspective at all until reading the responses, but the insights really have been illuminating.
After a long road of donors falling through for different reasons, we found a proven donor that we absolutely adore. She had a communicable disease test come back positive, and because of that, we can't have an anonymous donation. The positive test is not an issue for reasons I can't get into....I have many mixed feelings about meeting her, and have actually thought about finding another donor to maintain anonymity. Mainly because worry of my own lack of ability to handle a meeting, sadly enough. I've cried and cursed the world, and wish I were one of those people who could insist on an open donation, have dinner with our donor like I've read about from other people doing. Just haven't been able to get comfortable with it.
The comments about how seeing a donor photo may be important to the child later on, really opened my eyes a bit, and made me consider perhaps meeting our donor can actually be a positive thing if I can put my issues aside.
It helps to think of what I may want to know about her outside her profile. Have you thought of questions you would like to ask your donor if you had the chance to meet her (or if you actually did meet her)?
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