My DH was against it at first too (OE and DE ment)April 24 2012 at 11:02 PM
|Renata (Login doglvr)|
Response to Feeling mixed emotions right now (Minniet, failure, OE child ment)
I am an only child. I never wanted to only have one child myself. I was very lucky and conceived my DD at age 40, but then went on to m/c and didn't want to keep trying with my own eggs. I was absolutely bereft thinking that we were only going to have one. DH wanted to adopt, but wasn't willing to adopt anyone other than a healthy Caucasian newborn and you know how easy THAT is (I was willing to adopt a child with special needs, child of color, etc). So it took some time, and some therapy, and I created a spread sheet type of thing that included cost, time, chances/percentages of success, etc. I included everything I could think of, including donor embryo and foster adoption. Presenting the "facts" to him, minus an ounce of emotion, seemed to be quite helpful. Is your DH wanting to back out of DE IVF or family building all together? What are you open to? DH was against DE for awhile until he saw that it was actually an extremely rational choice. And after they were born, believe me, he thanked me and said we made the right choice. You aren't being selfish. It's perfectly normal to want more than one child, and to also feel blessed for what you have. They are not mutually exclusive. Keep posting. I posted a bunch before we even decided to cycle and it was very helpful!