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(((minniet))) (long, success ment.)

May 2 2012 at 10:36 AM
Ariadne  (no login)

Response to Me, Bharani and REs....

I'm so sorry. My stomach clutched at your RE's response. I have been there. As I posted you below, I did 2 failed DE cycles with an immune issue friendly RE before going to the Beer Center. It was an experience that has forever put a somewhat sour taste in my mouth for ivf clinics & their stats. (Acknowledging, of course, that we need ivf clinics & ultimately my RE helped me down the road to 2 children. Still, he did me wrong on several fronts & would have continued to do so had I not pushed it. So yep, still a bit bitter.)

I've also been there on the dh front. Mine had no hope or excitement left. And definitely no belief it would ever work.

I have no answers as we have no crystal balls, but I do believe you will get there. It is worth it!

The next step is different for different people. While many of us may have opinions on what we would do in your shoes, you have to listen to yourself. It may take a while for your voice to be heard again, but I think with time, which may be short or long, you will be drawn one way or another.

It is immensely difficult to be stuck in the trenches, feeling like life is passing you by & watching everyone else move on, their families growing. And the loss of your mom leaves such a deep hole. Still, stay true to what you want & what you believe will make your life complete.

To paraphrase my dh when we finally laid it all out over my desire to keep trying & his negativity & in the context of looking back over our life when we are old: "It is easier to be the one who wishes we had stopped sooner than it is to be the one who wishes we had tried harder." That was our watershed moment, as I was ready to throw in the towel b/c I didn't want to force him to keep going if he was dead set against it. With that, there is was. One can't get time back. Looking back over one's life as an old man or woman, we didn't want regrets over stopping too soon. At that same time, there had to be a limit & we did set one.

Sending you sympathy, understanding, & a warm hug over cyberspace.

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