I am a lurker, relatively new poster and received some great advice a couple of months on this board. Thanks once again for your wisdom. I really need your help right now as I am struggling.
DH and I are trying to move forward on our first DE cycle, but we are both caught up in high levels of anxiety. For me the anxieties are in no particular order: 1) it won't work because I don't believe in my body anymore; 2) we will waste huge amounts of money that we won't have (no insurance); 3) I'm scared of more heartbreak and sorrow if it doesn't work; 4) DE not working will cause a rift in our marriage because for him this is not a huge priority as he already has children; and 5) we won't be happy with our baby for some reason (sort of a vague fear but sometimes I worry that he/she could be a mean, nasty child). DH's fears (I think) are 1) he won't love the DE baby as much as his children; 2) it won't work and we will waste a lot of money we don't have; 3) we won't be happy with our baby for some reason; and 4) we are already very busy and he is overwhelmed with the thought of having another child.
It is hard to find time to talk about things. We are paralyzed right now, trying a few more natural cycles before moving on (never?). If you have any thoughts that would help us move forward, I would be so grateful. Thanks very much.