I POAS'd and it was negative this morning. 5dp5dt. I know its early but I have no symptoms other than the usual progesterone stuff and I have had positives this early before. Blerg.
I am very sad, angry and depressed. Just venting, but really, if this doesn't work out, I will feel completely betrayed and mislead by every doctor who I have consulted over the past 6 years.
I have willingly offered to have (and pay for) as many tests as it takes so I don't waste yet another cycle that won't work. And every doctor says the same thing: "there is nothing wrong", "just bad luck" or "bad eggs", "you don't need more tests", "we know you can get pregnant, you just need the right eggs", "you just need the right embryos", "you should get pregnant the first time" (I heard that with IUI, OE IVF and DE IVF). What a load of cr*p. The only thing that these doctors are interested in doing is taking my money. But, even worse, they have wasted our time.
I was not so concerned about my age when we started and I am still not too freaked about doing this in my 40's. But my poor DH is now 60. And I am starting to worry about him. He is in excellent shape and a very young 60. But I can't see him being all that into this later and a tremendous amount of responsibility will be falling to me and me alone. He has worked hard all of his life and deserves to relax in his retirement (if he wants too). We have no family to help out.
And now all of my efforts, painstaking research, money, and time are gone. I don't know what I did in life to deserve this. I feel like the biggest loser.
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