For me, age was certainly an issue since I did not meet DH until I was 42. I went into it knowing DE was likely (my sister already had DE B/G twins). It definitely puts a strain on a marriage and on finances and those are the things that I most regret and get bitter about. Why couldn't DH have a little time to ourselves instead of my obsession! Now that my DD is here, however, I am glad that I had to use DE because I would not have HER if I had not had to. She is the perfect DD for us. She is my best buddy and if somebody appeared right now and said -- we will take everything away, you can easily get pregnant with your OE and get all you money back but you have to give up Miss O. Well that is a non-starter. I can't think of not having THIS CHILD. That takes away the sting. It is tough but I think you will find that is what happens to most of us.