I've struggled with some of the same concerns...not whether to tell the child or not because I think for us we would tell but more how the child will feel and react some day. There are some posts over on the pved website (parents via egg donation) on this topic that I thought were helpful so you might want to check it out. I was very worried about this after reading some posts on a website by adults who were conceived using donor sperm. I think most of them had issues when they found out at an older age so it seems important that the child find out when they are young. I don't think the child would hate you. I went to see a counselor who specializes in this and she thinks it is best to tell. Good luck with your cycle!