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For me...(success implied)

May 29 2012 at 10:01 PM
MaggieM  (Login Maggie14)

Response to how can you get past the feeling that life is unfair


I clearly remember as a kid, I guess I was 7 or 8, being really mad at my dad and saying "THAT"S NOT FAIR!" His response was "Life's not fair." I remember the total shock of that moment. How can it not be fair? That has stuck with me. Infertility is horribly unfair if you compare yourself to others. Hard not to do so when you are stuck at dinner with someone like Kenny's Sloppy Drunk, or even if you are at the mall surrounded by strollers and huge bellies. But really there is no guarantee of fairness in any of this. We all have our roads to travel. Some parts are easy and some are very, very hard. If you can think of this as simply the road you need to walk to get to your child, then you can do it. It's not fair or unfair. It just is. The desire some days to scream at the time, money and tears that are spent on the process won't go away but trying not to compare "roads" can help.

I have to say too that to believe this is much easier in retrospect. I remind myself that this was just my road to my children when I am looking at a friend's new house, or hearing about their latest trip, or thinking about my age. If I do not compare myself to others or expect things to be somehow equal, then it's easier for me when it's not.

Good luck. When you look at your child's face, you will know that you would have gone through 10 times what you did and it would have been worth it. I hope the rest of your road is not very long.


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