I truly understand both sides of this topic and know that it is not an easy decision either way--nor, is it an "absolute" decision. I think this is something that will continue to "evolve" (I dislike that expression here!) over a lifetime.
I wish that there was more study on this from a psychological perspective. Right now, we are basing most of our information on adoption and donor sperm studies--which are NOT the same at all.
What is interesting, is that in past years, this board has tended to be more on the "no tell" side.
I think there are good points to be made on both sides of this topic and I hope that you will continue to stick around and contribute. I think it is valuable to consider input from both camps.