gone through, as I've lurked for a while and only recently jumped in. I'm so sorry for your losses
I'm cycling right now, and this question comes up a bit for me too. One thing that plays into our decision is the fact that we have a child already. I'm sure if we didn't, our views on what works for us would be different.
I'm a researcher, and I've seen NICU data. I know I'm not saying anything that folks here don't know when I say that NICUs are full of multiples. I also know a lot of twins - from younger kids to teenagers. I see an awful lot of mild issues even in healthy twins. Are these a result of the kids' twin status? I have no idea. It does give me pause, though.
We've decided that transferring one is right for us. The risks (however small) just aren't worth it for us. However, this is my first DE cycle. If we don't succeed, I can't swear that I wouldn't transfer 2 next time. It's a tough decision. And twins are ridiculously cute! I can be impulsive, so right now I just have to make a cold decision and not deviate
Are you leaning towards transferring two?