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The unanswerable questions

June 18 2012 at 7:09 PM
Looking into DE  (no login)


I have been looking thru lots of these threads but still would be interested in some additional input. My husband and I are looking into DE after 5 years of failed attempts with OE. Overall I don't have any issues with using DE - now that we have gotten to this point - and am ok with not having any genetic link and not worried about having any bonding issues with my child that I would have carried for 9 months and given birth to. I am adopted and don't know my birth family and this is where the questions come in. I am a tell person - I know some people are no-tell on this forum and it is none of my business, but if I go through with this route, I think it is important to tell your child that they were conceived by donor egg and the earlier the better so it is always just a part of who they are. Looking at some other websites that are more the kids point of view from 3rd party donation, some of them feel so unhappy and missing pieces of themselves by their parents choosing to go this route (mostly donor insemination since that is more common). I think that since I am adopted and growing up felt the "missing piece" aspect and I worry about bringing a child into this world who has those same types of feelings. How did all of you work thru this or does anyone have any experiences of kids who dealt with any of these issues and how was it handled? I know this is an unanswerable question and each person comes to their own decisions about all of this but any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

 Respond to this message   

  1. DSR - green.elephant on Jun 18, 2012
  3. If I could do it over again (DE twins ment) - Renata on Jun 18, 2012
  5. I had it written into our contract - jerseyblue on Jun 18, 2012
  7. Wish I had thought it through more thoroughly. - Maggie in VA on Jun 18, 2012
    1. Maggie - thesameboat on Jun 19, 2012
      1. I agree. - Raindrops1 on Jun 19, 2012
        1. Thanks, ladies . . . - Maggie in VA on Jun 19, 2012
  8. Can I ask you a question? - MM on Jun 19, 2012
    1. Exactly my issue - Maggie in VA on Jun 19, 2012
  9. me too - Kerry on Jun 19, 2012
    1. anon donors with clinics - RaineyCat on Jun 19, 2012
      1. thanks Rainycat - Kerry on Jun 20, 2012
  10. Thanks for the feedback - Anonymous on Jun 19, 2012
    1. Oops, above message is from Looking into DE - Looking into DE on Jun 19, 2012
  11. my thoughts (child ment, adopt ment) - Julie on Jun 19, 2012
    1. beautiful post Julie - Golda on Jun 20, 2012
    2. very nice thought.... - optimum on Jun 20, 2012
  12. DNA testing - Antonialisa on Jun 19, 2012
  14. one more thought on belonging vs. bloodlines - Antonialisa on Jun 19, 2012
  16. No info vs some info - Catherine on Jun 19, 2012
    1. OK, I thought you could do known donor in SA . . . - Maggie in VA on Jun 19, 2012
      1. There ws an agency - Catherine on Jun 20, 2012
  17. A topic of discussion that I carry with me daily - sugar on Jun 19, 2012
  19. Similar story... - JulieFish on Jun 19, 2012
  21. Holding the vision....m ( children ment) - Hope2009 on Jun 19, 2012
  23. good, deep thinking on these questions - Golda on Jun 20, 2012
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