Thank you all for sharing your personal experiences. So much of what many of you posted resonates. If I make it to the other shore of this IF journey I have a feeling that these wonderings I have now about "this & that" may become distant thoughts and not very important.
It has taken me some time on this path to let go and trust but I find that I am living from this place more and more and it certainly has taught me a lot. Actually IF as painful as it is has been a precious and invaluable teacher.
Hope I totally agree that every being is connected and the only thing that does separate us is our "earth suits" ( I love that analogy by the way!!!) - but ultimately we are all interconnected and interdependent. Although my donor looks nothing like me I felt an instant connection to her heart and soul and that is why I chose her.
I've no idea how things will unfold but all of your heartfelt responses have been insightful.