Wow Sugar, you really have been thinking about going down this path for quite some time. I started thinking about it seriously right before my last OE IVF. I think it's a process and your feelings are very normal. I thinkRaindrops here has said thats he felt some of the same feelings right up until the birth of her child and then those feelings went away. I honestly would still LOVE to have a genetic connection to my child but knowing that my own eggs are not up to the job, I am ever so grateful for the opportunity that DE's gives. I have no doubt that I will love ANY baby I have..DE, adoption, the kidlets in of my family members as much as if they came from my own egg and womb...it's just sobering to realize that the choice of genetic connection has been taken from you. Cycling has eased that pain for sure and I am as excited as I ever was for any OE cycle that I've had...but for some reason I am scared, scared, scared and nervous as I have mentioned.
I'm so excited for you!! I think Cooper is a great choice and it sounds like you have had good treatment there. In the end, people go to crap clinics and get pregnant on the first try and BFN's at what are supposedly "the best" clinics. You have a leg up in that you know the clinic and the DE program sounds on the money. You probably know I will say that if God forbid this cycle does not work out for you to look into immune issues. Forget about the naysaers...follow your gut. Hopefully it is just an issue of eggs which is most likely the reason for your issues.
I'm excited for you!!! I am always rooting for you. I think we might indeed be cycle buddies as my actually transfer would be in about two weeks. Keep me posted too. I will be praying for you Sugar!! I hope you get lots of eggies from your donor and make FABU:OUS embryos!!