Just responded above but wanted to add a few things here. The whole tell/no tell issue is enough to make anyone anxious. I also worry about our child's reaction. However, all I can say is that with a little luck, at the very least this child will know it was very much wanted and loved and hopefully that will carry all of us through. If you ever get a chance, there is a god movie/documentary called "Off and RunnIng" about two Brooklyn lesbians that adopt three multiracil children. The story focuses on the black daughter they adopted and how her mothers and her deal with her need to find her birth mother. One mother is okay with this, and another is not. I think I would have some of the same feelings as the mother that is less play with things. Also, The Kids are Allright is a good movie inving children conceived via donor sperm.
Anyway, I have my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!Good luck!!