First, I want to thank all of you who have responded and supported me throughout this journey. As some of you know, my hormone levels dropped on Tuesday after getting and beta of 190 last week.
I am trying to move past this, but I am having so much difficulty. Please know, that this is not a pity party and I know it happens to so many women, but I need to put these thoughts down and hear back from people like you, to help me through this.
I am 43, a teacher, in good health, never been pregnant. Met my wonderful husband at 40. When we tried to have kids, I was told I had no viable eggs. Because of high FSH, I never made it to IUI or IVF with OE. We decided on DE and I never had any issue with genetic connection. We saved money, my parent generously gave us a lot of money, we both got second jobs, I drank decaf, went to acupuncture, ate healthy and drank kale and spinach juice, that my husband so kindly juiced for me, every morning.
Everything I have been doing in the past year has been for the baby. And now there is no baby. And I don't know what to do with myself. I am a teacher with the summer off and a lot of free time. I have 2 frozen eggs left and we will try again. I don't know if I can handle the disappointment again.
I think what is so hard is that there is nothing you can do to make it happen. You can be so healthy, etc. and sometimes it doesn't work. And that is what is not sitting well with me. We are taught if you try harder, study harder, work harder, you will achieve....whatever it is you are trying to achieve.
So, can I hear some stories from you gals? How many times did you try? Fresh eggs, frozen eggs? What exactly are the success rates here? Anyone from the Boston area going to RSC?
Sorry for the ramble, I'm having a bad day. Ok, I'm off to Bikram yoga...cause I have to try something