I am so, so sorry. You must be in shock. TTC and using DE is stressful for everyone and I think that for some people it is just too much to handle. I wish your DH had talked to you more though. Maybe that would have helped you see his point of view more.
I know that in my marriage, my DH and I can be on different pages at different times. We also approach the whole process differently. At times, one of us might need more time to move to the next step and we have had to respect that person's wishes. That has not been easy. We have had to work with a counselor through this process as it has gotten to be too much for us to handle on some days.
Please know that you are doing your best for yourself and your daughter. I can tell you are strong. I also think that if you feel it is a good idea to be at home with your daughter then you need to do that. You know in your heart what you need to do.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.