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I'm so sorry

August 20 2012 at 10:34 AM
Antonialisa  (no login)


Response to My husband left me! (OE child ment)

 

I wondered what happened to you and I am so sorry that you are going through this. I also went through a divorce and it was incredibly painful.

Even if your husband isn't cheating on you, sometimes men (and women) are highly attracted to someone else and start fantasizing that life would be better with that amazing person than the person they are married to. I think this is just as problematic as an affair for fixing the marriage so long as the spouse is comparing the idealized fantasy with their everyday life situation (especially if it has already been difficult and painful in the last little while with IF).

If your DH has been calling and saying "I love you" every day then it ended abruptly, I think there is a chance that he will get his sh*t together and come back to you. But in my experience, you should think long term. It may take him 2 weeks or 6 months or 1 year or longer to figure his stuff out and realize what he is losing. You need to brace yourself for a possible long haul.

You will find a new normal but it is very hard right now. I agree with those who say please take good care of yourself. Focus on what you and your little girl need. Can you lean on friends and family right now? Please don't hesitate to ask loved ones for help. What activities do you enjoy? Can you still keep doing them without DH?

Your husband will sooner or later realize there is a huge amount of loss in what he has done. He will miss out on a lot of great experiences with his wife and daughter. It is a sad thing for a man when his daughter tells him that she learned how to ride a bicycle without training wheels and it was her Mom's boyfriend or new husband who taught her.

You will be happy again for sure, after you get through all this. I'm so sorry you have to go through it. Please keep us apprised.

 
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