I thought that many times and therefore I was not meant to be a mom and so why am I spending countless hours, money, emotion on something that no matter what, isn't going to happen? Why keep banging my head against the wall? Few things are more painful than going through this.
It took 9 years, 2 REs, 7 cycles with DE and my 3rd donor for my beautiful DD to come to me. I kept telling myself that the laws of statistics say that eventually it HAD to fall my way.
Perhaps your mom was trying to give you a way to let go of the dream if you wanted to. Perhaps it pains her to see you having to go through this. But no one can tell you when you're done or not done with this IF rollercoaster. And if you're not done trying, then you're not done trying.