First of all, I'm sorry you had that experience. What an opinionated busy-body she sounds like! I would find that very tough to deal with.
Yes, you can apply the method to this situation!
Self Talk/belief: I'm too old to be a mom! It will be weird, and people will always be looking at me, judging me.
-all the ladies on this board who are older-than-average moms all say it's totally worth it! Not that they don't struggle with these thoughts sometimes, but it sounds to me that these thoughts pale in comparison the joy their children bring them.
-Also, sadly, being a young mother doesn't guarantee one will be around for their children's lives. I have two close friends whose mothers died when they were children. These weren't older mothers, but they still got sick and died when their children were very young. My parents were older (for their generation) when they had me, and they're still alive and well. Nothing in life is a guarantee.
-Some people may in fact judge us, and others won't notice or care.
-Others' judgment of us says nothing about us and everything about them. They might be unhappy people trying to make themselves feel better by belittling other's decisions. They might have such a small world view that it doesn't accommodate anything "outside the box." I think that's sad for them, and it says nothing about us.
-Yes, we'll be older moms, but that doesn't imply something bad. We often have more life experience, stability, sense of ourselves, realistic expectations of life and other people. Sounds to me like a recipe for good parenting!
-And as for having others judge us for having kids so late, phooey on them. Their opinions don't matter, and they don't get a say in our life decisions. This is hardly a rash decision on our parts; we've thought it through, and invested a lot of our money, time, and life force. We know it's right for us.
-And this will not be universal: many will not notice or care about our age; others will even admire us for our courage to buck convention and go for what we believe is right for us.
Just off the top of my head. Add your own, too.
That exchange you describe would be hard for me, too. Bug hug.
|This message has been edited by hopefulindelaware on Aug 25, 2012 11:03 AM|