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My experience so far

August 31 2012 at 10:05 AM
Hopeful in Delaware  (Login hopefulindelaware)

Response to Poll regarding Shady Grove. Please chime in

Hi futurebeauty,

I'm with SG now and can relate to your questions or concerns. So far I've had one cancelled cycle (when the donor didn't produce enough eggs), one BFN on my fresh transfer, and I'm currently in the tww of my first FET.

We went with the 3:1 program, entirely for financial reasons. We're just not in a position to pay more for the other programs. Our first donor back in April only produced 7 eggs, so only recipient #1 got any. As for the timing, both times so far, the matches were completed more quickly than I'd expected. What took longer than expected each time was actually getting started on the cycle: waiting for 4 people (donor + 3 recipients) to start a new cycle and get on BCPs took almost a month both times and felt excruciating. However, I have no complaints about 3:1; these inconveniences are what we signed up for when we chose the cheapest option.

I do find their donor selection really lacking. They make a big deal about how competitive it is, and how few applicants get accepted, and I honestly do not understand this. Most of the ones who make it in have conditions that I find serious, like severe asthma, hashimotos, mental health issues. That first donor who didn't produce enough eggs, her father had left when she was a baby, so she had no information about half of her family history. It's one thing to know these things are in your own family when using OE, but seeing as I need to use someone else's eggs, why would I want to choose a donor with medical problems? It's possible SG is just more thorough and honest than other places, who knows? But given how they tout their strict standards, I find their selection confusing and underwhelming.

I haven't shared this with anyone, not even my DH: the night before that first cancelled cycle, I became filled with dread and regret at my choice of donor. When we chose her, she was one of the the only ones who didn't have some medical issue, and I was so eager to get started. But then all at once the fact that we knew nothing about half of her medical history became terrifying, and I felt I'd made a big mistake. I remember standing in my bathroom imagining all the horrible things that could make my baby suffer because I had been too rushed and careless to choose a good donor. The next day, when the cycle was cancelled, I was disappointed at the delay, but relieved, too.

When choosing my next donor, I found the same situation, small number of donors, and most of them had one medical condition or another. I e-mailed their donor coordinator and expressed my disapointment with the selection. There simply wasn't anyone I felt even the slightest enthusiasm about. She let me know about a donor who had just been added back in after a recipient had pulled out. I looked at her, she was great, and I called my DH at work and made him drop what he was doing to look at her, and we snatched her up immediately. I was happy to find her and about the timing, but it feels kind of random. what if I hadn't emailed? she might have come and gone without me seeing her. Still remains to be seen whether her eggs will give me a baby, though. (As I'm thinking about it now, I would recommend that anyone with SG communicate with the donor coordinators about what you're looking for and your reactions to the options you're seeing, rather than just only doing it online with no dialogue with SG, which is what I initially did.)

Your point about having frosties and not being able to move on to a new donor is interesting. After this current FET we still have 2 frosties, and we do eSETs. We got 5 eggs, 4 fertilized and made it to 5-day blasts. We transferred 1 and all three other ones made it to frozen. The first one thawed well, so we didn't touch the others. I certainly don't relish the thought of starting the whole process again with a new donor, but I have thought to wonder whether this donor just isn't THE ONE for us. I'm in the 3:1, though, so what you're hoping to avoid could happen in any of the programs.

good luck with your decision, and in getting your baby with a little wait and hassle as possible!

This message has been edited by hopefulindelaware on Aug 31, 2012 11:40 AM

 Respond to this message   

  1. Crossing my fingers for you! - Mrs. M on Aug 31, 2012
    1. Thanks, Mrs. M! - Hopeful in Delaware on Sep 1, 2012
  2. Thanks hopeful in delaware - futurebeauty on Aug 31, 2012
    1. Re: Thanks hopeful in delaware - Hopeful in Delaware on Sep 1, 2012
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