My beta is Tuesday. Was supposed to be Monday, but they're closed for the holiday. I don't know if I'll POAS or not. I kind of have a primal fear of POASing. I've gotten so many BFNs over the past 5-1/2 years, I have a hard time imagining I could ever get a BFP. Every time I've gotten a BFN, I have this deep reaction of "right, of course, that's how the world works, me not being pregnant." I'm better at picturing giving birth and having a child, but the test itself is this big block I can't get past. Irrational, I know, but... And besides, I've enjoyed staying in this "might be pregnant" space. I can pretend I'm pregnant and sometimes even believe that I am, which I think is good for me psychologically, given that strong negative belief mentioned above. So one way or another I'll find out in the next fews days. Fingers crossed! Thanks for your good thoughts!
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