I was both surprised and dismayed to see how many "friends" have avoided me because of this issueI tell myself it is because our lives are going in different directions but I think it is really that they lack empathy and are tied up in their own worlds. I miss my friend whom I comforted through multiple miscarriage and rejoiced when she finally carried to term. She has not said anything cruel other than I should look into adoption (something she was unwilling to do). She has just stopped interacting, returning calls, emails. She always has an excuse -- piano recital, PTA blah, blah, blah but never follows up on plans or apologizes until pinned down.
It is not as if I monopolize conversations. I hate pity. I rarely talk about infertility however, I expect a little quid pro quo considering I take an interest in listening and helping to solve their problems. It has shown me the selfishness of several long term former friends and deepened the connection of acquaintances like yourselves who do not let me wallow but offer sensible suggestions and a comforting sounding board.