Maggie in VA (Login maggie1961) Posted Nov 18, 2010 3:30 PM
My father's first wife was 46 or 47 when she gave birth to my naturally conceived older half-brother. If abortion had been legal back then, do you think she should have aborted my brother just because she was in her mid-forties? No? Would that have been "fairer" to my older brother?
Plenty of women conceive in their early forties, a few into their late forties, and even a smattering into their fifties. Most U.S. clinics simply do not impregnate women outside the known ranges of natural conception. I'm 49 with two six-month-old babies. It's hard physically at this age, but is it harder than the emptiness and sadness of childlessness that's not by choice? I don't think so.
The father of the little girl whom I mentor in a big sister capacity got her mother pregnant with her at age 56. Men's life expectancies are lower than women's. Do you think he was wringing his hands about how unfair it was to his unborn child that he was older? Now, he may have been wringing his hands b/c it was an unplanned pregnancy, but that's another matter. He is now a de facto single father (the child's mother is mentally ill) of an adolescent daughter in his late sixties. Is my "little sister" suffering? No, she's weathering the turmoil of their troubled family as well as can be expected due to her father's experience and wisdom.
My suggestion: breathe deeply and focus on keeping yourself healthy and ready for pregnancy.