I'm so so sorry, Orchid. I know I can't say anything to take away your pain, but your feelings are totally normal (though, you're right, not quite rational---all women do "lose" embryos along the way...us IF'ers are just in the unfortunate position to know we lost them--most women will never even realize it when it happens naturally...)
That feeling of being spaced out, I believe, is a protective sheild to ward off some really terrifically dramatic feelings. I hope it fades as soon as possible, and that you will find hope and healing soon.
Take good care, and go easy on yourself. You are, unfortunately, not in control of these very intricate bodily dynamics, so please don't punish yourself with blame.