as most adoptions are not as open as ours. The birth mom does not know where we live but does have our phone number. She probably has looked in the phone book and probably has an idea where we are. At one stage through coincidence both Dylan and birth mom's 2 month old baby were going to the same play school. It was a bit of a shock in the beginning, but it got to the point where birth mom would phone me and say "won't you check on J when you drop Dylan at school, as she wasn't well". Our relationship has really grown and I know she has Dylan's best interest at heart. Never once has she ever demanded anything or been inappropriate. In fact she has asked us, should she die, to be the legal guardian of J. She has no family and as soon as she has any good or bad news, we are the first to hear about it. She has made many wrong choices in life, but dh and I are very protective over her. I can't say the same for Dylan's birth father. We met him once in court, but he was not interested in having a relationship with Dylan. I really dread the day Dylan asks about him.
Going to have a chat with my Fertility specialist and see what he suggests. The way I feel, the cheapest option is the best, as easiest way to go.