I admire YOU for getting back up on that horse and trying again after your horrendous experience in India.
Yes, using a GS was really the hardest blow of all because what do all of us DE moms hang onto? That we can be pregnant and birth and breastfeed the baby and at least have that piece. Oh well. I won't say I'm past it yet, but, it does seem less and less important as time goes on. I can definitely say that I'm finally so turned off from the idea of pregnancy that I don't even daydream about it anymore.