There are folks who get pg at 43, 44, or older. My g-Mom had my uncle at 44 - she got knocked up and delivered at 44, and that was before all of this existed. He's healthy. My other G-Mom had my other uncle @ 40. I know a couple who got pg accidentally @ 40, and got married. They tried and tried for another baby - didn't work. They gave up. Low and behold, pg @ 45, delivered @ 46. The baby looks JUST LIKE mommy. I mean a clone of the woman. NO WAY DE! So, please don't post an anon message to someone, even if they are a bit naive......your or my or anyone else's experience may not be this persons.
That said, To the originaly poster: I'm 43 and tried OE 3 times - didn't even start until this age. It is a low success rate, and you seem very ambivalent about OE to begin with. Given your age, and that it is much harder, and that you have these real, valid concerns (good for you for recognizing this), I'd say go DE. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.