You know, it took me by surprise . . . (kids ment'd)
Maggie in VA (Login maggie1961) Posted Jun 13, 2011 10:31 AM
I had originally wanted to adopt and only turned to DE when I learned how hard adoption was (and, no, that wasn't b/c I would only take a white infant; one of the attitudes I held before trying to adopt that makes me cringe with embarrassment now is that I totally bought into the myth that the adoption shortage was artificial, caused by couples unwilling to accept older or disabled children or ethnic minorities). And while I admit I did feel a bit of discomfort when my twins were born and they so obviously weren't my genetic offspring, I was too busy loving them to care.
But then I hosted a baby sign class for the families of the pregnant moms group I had belonged to, and it suddenly hit me that I was the only mom who didn't look like her kids. I was the only one who had used DE except for a woman who had to use a GC, and even her son looked much more like her, I suspect b/c she had more control over her donors (I cycled in the Czech Republic). The women on the pink board gave me a combination of love and b**** slapping that sort of brought me out of it. But I think I had never really grieved the loss of a genetic connection, b/c I was just so glad to have any option for being pg and having children at my age.