anon having been there (no login) Posted Oct 3, 2011 8:59 PM
I am so sorry for what you're going through. You see, I have been there. My story is like a bad TV movie. But you know what? Fast forward a few years and I'm in a totally different - and better - place. I truly think that my DH had to be facing the edge of the cliff in order for him to realize what he truly stood to lose, and that no amount of philandering was worth it. I think had we NOT had this blowup, we would surely have gotten divorced, because we were two strangers in a house, neither really enjoying the other. It took something cataclysmic (sp?) for us both to realize what we stood to lose. And yes, he did all the "wrong" things and he knew he had to make up for the total breech of trust. And you know what? He did it. And he did it in a way that allowed me to improve things I was doing (without resentment) so that he felt better in the marriage and less likely to "stray." So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm the voice who says that even with what you're going thru, your marriage CAN survive intact - if he is willing to own up to his mistakes and make them right. And you never know - you may end up with a stronger marriage as a result. I never would have believed it had I not lived it. So hold your chin high, know that either way you will be fine, and stay open to the possibility that he can fix this. Because perhaps he can. Hang in there in the meantime - it is rough, I know. But I also knew that regardless of outcome, I would end up better off - you know?