And so after two weeks of waitng i went for the test well a test for nothing that is and it was negative. i could see the nurse had no words for poor me. i just didnt know how to react but for brief moment i went blank, cold and then hot and i started to sweat as i plundered what the negative meant. this was the fourth time in this Clinic and four IVFs that have ressulted into negatives after spending a fortune.
What frustrates me most is when i went for Fertility i got no results saying why i could not conceive and after so much trials with clomid i went for OE ivf it was negative then i went for DE it its negative x 3 dont forget remember i leave with a promise of twins only to get a negative .
I just need advise if any, one: have i feel lost yet my heart refuses tolet gothe dreamof having this baby. i wish i could quit but i just cant.
And so i have no exitement looking to Dec holidays as people are planning where to go and what to do blar blar blar am just blank and look like my life is even more empty than it has ever been. infact very empty. after i returned home after the failed IFV my house looked more emptier, more vast, more void than i had left in the morning with expectation of returning with good news. and so am just there nothing look good to me anymore. i dont whether to blame God or fate or life or the world but one big question is why me.
And guess what when i got on the road on my way to give this update what i see is a woman holding a just new born. i think i felt so jelous of her and just drove very quickly as i held back tears.
May be one day it will be me going home holding my bundle of joy.