Maggie in VA (Login maggie1961) Posted Feb 9, 2012 11:38 AM
That's the "Still ttc thru DE" link above. Several of the women there have used a GC, and some may have tips on how to do it most economically before you rule it out.
Sounds like you and DH are about the same age I and my DH were when we started. I actually wasn't even very interested in IF treatment; I just wanted to adopt, but when I started researching it, I realized that my options would be very limited. I was open to adopting an older child, but I meant age 3-9, while a whole lot of the adoptable kids in the U.S. are not just over 10, but in their teens.
I have four friends who have tried or succeeded with adopting through social services. One couple adopted two gorgeous little boys, who were followed by a sister when their drug-addicted mother abandoned her at the hospital. But they were extremely lucky in that the children seem to have no ongoing developmental issues from their mother's behavior and she was willing to relinquish her parental rights fairly readily. Another friend adopted a, hmmm, a beautiful 7 yo (?) girl, but the husband was distantly related to the girl, whose only living parent died, and they got priority. So, there's a huge element of luck there.
Two other friends didn't have such positive experiences. They were both single women, although educated and self-supporting, and I wonder if they weren't being discriminated against at some level. They complained that their social workers rarely even contacted them. They did all the paperwork, went through the home study, but the last I heard, only one had been offered a placement, and that was for an 18yo.
You don't go into details about your ttc history, but there are some women here and on the green board, especially, who have been through some amazing things before they succeeded. Unless you have a reason to know your uterus just can't work, it is your most valuable asset. But the green board ladies also have experience with GC and can guide you there.