I was older than you + thought I'd be a single mom . . .
Maggie in VA (Login maggie1961) Posted Feb 10, 2012 11:24 AM
As my DH gave me an ultimatum of him or kids when I realized I regretted not having them. Yes, it is an awesome decision, wondering whether it's fair to a child to become a mother when you know your chances of re-partnering (at least, with a man; I had some flexibility there) are slender. And I was not a "kid" person, one of the things that had inhibited me about having children when younger.
But, honestly, at my age (47 at the time), I did not have time to ponder those things for long. I was already too old to adopt, my first choice, from most sources. I would be aging out of my first clinic's guarantee program in a matter of months (turned out to be irrelevant). And if I had meekly submitted to all my husband's demands in ending our marriage and waited to cycle, I might have aged out of the DE program for the Czech clinic I used as the government imposed a lower maximum age.
You have to work with hand life deals you, and I wouldn't be so sure you'll be single forever. I think I read a statistic that over a quarter of the children born in the U.S. now are to single mothers. It's not optimal, but you and your kids will be far from alone. You have endured much and are not doing anything frivolously. I don't think you should deprive yourself of the joy of motherhood under your circumstances, and I think your children are going to be happy and well-loved.