emilyr99 (Login emilyr99) Posted Mar 27, 2012 3:27 AM
Firstly I need to say that I am extremely lucky that I have a miracle DD that I should not have been able to have according to DR's and if you stop reading there I will completely understand as I hated women like me when I was so desperately trying to get pregnant without DE. I was oh so lucky, but now am forced to accept that my next child (if I decide to go down this road) will be by DE.
I only recently found out and am very slowly coming to terms with this. It is still extremely difficult and I now have to come to terms with the fact that I will have one child that is OE and one that is DE. I'm trying to take the advice of the women here and have had to find ways to get through the day, but it's a daily battle.
Just know that we are here for you when you need to vent or if you have any queries. Sadly I'm not one of the more knowledgable women here as I am starting out just like you, but I've got two eyes to read, two ears to listen and two shoulders to cry on, anytime.
Two things that my counsellor told me that made a difference are;
1. The bond between mother and child starts in the womb and only continues to grow. I can testify to this with my DD. it's chemical, hormonal and inevitable. I can't imagine not connecting with a DE child now either.
2. We have a genetic stamp on children that we carry. It's our blood, our diet and our hormone changes that effect the baby in utero. Our brain signals everything that starts and stops with the baby and it's mannerisms will come from us too. It can be more like us than we think.
I hope this helps you. Even if I don't quite believe it yet, I am telling myself daily that a DE baby will be my baby just as much as my DD. one day, I will accept this and I pray that this day will come sooner rather than later. I'll keep you posted.
TTC for 3.5 yrs from age 27
4 rounds on clomifene
About to start IVF when...
DD OE 3.5yrs old now
TTC 2.5 yrs for #2
2 rounds of clomifene
Dx with DOR Jan 2012
Using DE from sister possibly