I have tough skin and I have seen this stumbling block on this board before.
I admire your desire to address the issue. It was obvious from your post that you were not trying to post anything controversial - you just wanted to talk with friends about your life.
The whole issue of primary vs secondary infertility can be a sticky one. Perhaps we all need to remember the impact our words can have on someone feeling vulnerable and experiencing grief for what ever reason.
We need to remember what we have in common - the loss of our dream of a family, a family that we pictured being complete when we decided it was complete. We all share the grief of infertility taking that vision away from us.