I am so sorry you are going through this anxiety. It really is a process you have to go through, letting go of all associated with OE (genetic ties, etc.) and embracing something new. I went thought it all and am happy to chat to you offline about it.
I can tell you that by the time I finally got to the time we started our DE cycle, all that I felt was a tremendous amount of RELIEF and EXCITEMENT that what we were about to do had a good chance of working. From a financial perspective too, it also felt more "worth it"/justified because of the higher odds. This is something I never experienced with OE where we had failures/setbacks at every turn.
Hang in there and take each step one at a time. If you keep moving forward after each step, you'll know it's the right path!