Antonialisa (no login) Posted Aug 22, 2012 12:06 PM
Emily, I am so sorry.
Please know that it is 100% normal that a part of you still wants him back. You love him and built a life together and have a child together. Don't feel bad for having normal feelings of attachment to him.
My DH's ex-wife left him for another man when the children were even younger than yours. She is still with the other man but wracked with guilt for being so selfish all these years later and it really affects her. DH and I now have a beautiful life together and no regrets. We have 50% custody of the children and this is a huge loss for her.
Whether your DH will get his sh*t together and come back to you or not, I still think you should keep focussing on taking care of yourself and DD. I'm sure you know that one day the pain will abate, you will heal and you will be happy again, probably with a much better man. Sorry it is so horrible right now.
I think counselling is always helpful to help sort out your feelings at turbulent times. Someone who can help lift the burden. Funnily enough, I posted the data on a counsellor just a few days ago. She does appointments by phone and specializes in infertility, relationships, family issues and is only $100.00 per hour which is a great price (although your insurance may not cover her). However, she may not be right for you especially if you prefer someone you can meet in person.
Please do keep posting from time to time to let us know how you are doing.