Fb to start with i don't think you are crazy but you are strong willed to get to your dream ASAP. i sometimes wondered whether at my age i should be getting another baby as almost all my age mates now talk of grandchildren( here in Africa the norm is to get children as early as 17yrs) and rarely is the talk on IF. my journey mostly has been frustrating as the doctors could not get anything wrong with me from a low FSH to healthy uterus and good eggs that would not result into any baby. my DH was once told he has excellent sperms and this really created some misunderstanding between me and him as to why cant we get the next baby.
one time during a family meeting one sister out of nowhere said hai 'A' its time you got the next baby and my mother was quick to responds and say 'cant you see she is old she cant get another baby and beside how long will she be there to bring the baby up - she is already a grandma(meaning am too old) I felt very cold of this comment and i went home crying as to why people comment on some areas that they don't understand like IF and what one is going through. Every time after every failure i found myself figuring out how to patch up my broken me , get finances and get back to the IVF queue again and i had said i will keep on trying until i have this baby or i am no longer able to get into the queue. i was lucky to find this boards at the point if break down and i consoled myself i am not alone in the jungle of trying against all odds to get a baby. i lurked all board to try and get someone who had everything alright but cannot get a baby but many came at least they could point out issue with their health that had resulted into their IF i could not point a single thing as i moved to DE . i was even surprising when even the DE i came to find out its not automatic. So may be we are crazy or weird to outsiders looking inside but us insiders looking out we know we have a goal to reach out there and nothing will stand between us and that goal of a baby not even the many failures.FB keep dreaming and dreaming even more.