for me. I feel so sad and devastated. I just don't understand this. How can 3 blasts be placed and turn up neg? I just don't get it. It's probably my crappy, "mottled" looking uterus I made. We have 9 frosties and two of them are blasts. I just can't even think about treking back to the Ukraine to do this again. How do you woman keep so strong to do this again and again? I'm 46 and I just don't know if I have the emotional energy this stuff takes. I want this so bad. My DP does not want to adopt and we just can't afford it! That's why I choose Ukraine b/c it was affordable.
I would love to hear some encouraging thoughts. Thanks for being here for me.. Carolann xx
most of us have "been there" in that we have had BFN's before BFP's. I know exactly how you are feeling now, and I wish there was something I could say to make it better right NOW. The only think I can say is, if you decide to continue (and you are one of the fortunate ones, to have frosties) I wish you strength and much success!
For us, we decided to keep trying until we saw no new reason to go on -- this involved the numerous, IUIs, two GIFT procedures, two IVFs with my eggs, and a DE attempt before a second DE attempt was successful. There were a couple of BFN FETs with my embies, too. The only reason we did the second DE attempt was because we had found I might have immune issues, which I did. But I was SO close to giving up.
I hope you take time to grieve this cycle, but that you also come to the point where you have energy for an FET. I really feel for you, and will keep thinking of you and sending success vibes.
I'm so sorry about your BFN ... was it a beta or an hpt? I think it's so great that you have frosties - I have none, and I hear you about the $$. You don't need to think about your next step just yet, give yourself time to get over this. Thinking of you, -Emily, 7dp3dt
Please give yourself time to heal before you think about how much it will suck to do this again - these BFNs, esp with DE which is supposed to WORK, are soooo tough. Be kind to yourself. I'm so sorry for your news. RE: adoption... if it ever becomes necessary, which is a big leap to take right now, then give your dp time. My dh did NOT want to adopt (and truth be told, it was not my preference either). But, after our second failed DE cycle, we both came around and pursued that. Had DE #3 not worked, we were well on our way and I think we both would have become excited at that prospect too. Sometimes one door has to close before another can open. I so hope your DE journey is successful, but remember that there is always another path to parenthood out there. I'm saying this not because I think you should give up or that you will be unsuccessful with DE, but because it always calmed to remember that I WILL become a mother, however it happens . Big hugs,
i think you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I am so sorry about this BFN. I know how badly you want this. A lot of people here have had success w/ an FET after a failed fresh. I am doing FET right now and have searched for success stories on the pink board. There are a lot of them there. (((HUGS))) I hope you get your BFP w/ your next cycle.
This is so difficult, but it still could be too early. We have been ttc for 11 years and I truely don't know how I have had the energy with the constant disappointment. Two years ago I had brain surgery which took a year to recover from. It is funny how the mind and body heals. After this grueling surgery, I swore I was never going to have another medical procedure including ivf etc again. Well that soon changed and I did 2 ivfs with my own eggs after that and then finally got my first BFP using donor egg only to have a chem pg. God I thought I was going to die from a broken heart and swore that I was never going to try again. That too has changed. I am busy planning my next cycle. I am 44 in August and can understand the sense of urgency you have. I really hope you can come up with a plan B which will help you heal, but you never know. You could still get that BFP.
Brandy (Durban, South Africa)
Very sorry as this just doesn't seem possible, as you said. To have frosties has to give you some hope. Many people who didn't get pg with their fresh, did so with their frosties. Have you explored immune issues? You'll get through this, but I know it's not even close to fair. MB
As I'm sure you will, I'd question. This just doesn't seem possible to me either. I'm so very glad you have frosties. Most of us don't. So very sorry about this cycle, though. Best wishes on your next step. MB