The gambler's fallacy is when you believe that just because X happened on the last roll of the dice/toss of the coin, etc. this will affect what happens next.
So if the coin is heads 3X in a row it is a fallacy to think that this affects the next toss.
Yes, there is medical stuff but sometimes I think there is also a gambler's fallacy we have to avoid. Like, if this fails, I will go back some more times. I can't really assume that I know the reason exactly because too many causal factors were involved.
I think we especially should avoid blaming ourselves in our bodies.
This is partly why I got scared to try with my own eggs, I think. I just felt like if there was failure it must have this BIG MEANING. I stopped believing in my body. I got very emotionally confused. I guess this happens to many of us.
Anyway, I think I am coming to terms with all that. But I don't want the gambler's fallacy to get me this time.
I was just telling my friend about this! WE all think that the next time will work for sure, so just like a gambler will win for sure! It's addictive too in a weird and wacky sort of way. I think it gets worse when using a donor also, since we are taking our eggs out of the equation!
well I sort of meant 'the past won't tell you about the future'
November 30 2010, 9:31 PM
I guess it's not a perfect analogy.
But what you said is sure true!!!
I am very curious about why I can't personally give up and why it makes me obsessional. It's just I think I may never stop. But I haven't been through even a scintilla of what other people have been through on these boards. (Obviously, the major of it all is that we love children and want them so much.)
I got got a BFP first try with only 2 viable embroyos, the others did not make it. I said to myself that day well if 2 is all I got then 2 is all I need. I left the clinic pregnant that day and was determined to stay that way. I acted mentally pregnant from day of transfer, I never fretted about the high risk of my pregnancy and made it to almost 35 weeks with twins. I had multiple factors riding against me age, bmi of 49, high blood pressure, none of that effected those 35 weeks until the end when i got preclampsia but that was happening to younger, skinnier woman with no known history of hypertension. So one thing is for sure walk out of the clinic knowing you are pregnant and determined to stay that way. Give up caffiene stress any indulgences that is even remotely link to issues effecting a fetus.
But presumably we're adjusting our protocol every time...
December 2 2010, 11:06 PM
...to change things up a notch, with the hope that this new adjustment will work. (Adding acupuncture, or lovenox, or staying in bed the whole day of transfer, or...) So each cycle really is different (not to mention different embies). But your point is correct, it's a "new game" every time (but I think especially if we're learning from our failures and "fine tuning" what we do next).