So 3 years ago this week just as I am about to go in the second trimester, there is no hb. Fast forward and here I am pouring over a DE contract and wondering if my lawyer even reads what I write to him. Because the last time I checked just b/c I have to use DE doesn't mean I am a freaking millionare and I can just send Jeeves to the west wing to pick dollars off the money tree next to the stables with the unicorns. Ughhhh.
So many people told me, oh don't worry it will happen. Have a bottle of wine, go on vacation, your young it will happen.. yeah not so much.
Its been a long three years. I wish I could just go back to being naive about everything and never have to face the pain and suffering of what this journey has entailed both physically and mentally. IF is my invisible scarlet letter.
Sorry, obviously this has been brewing and unfortunately I remember stupid dates when stuff happens to me.
That's a terrible loss. I don't have anything to offer but my condolences and my hope that you'll be cycling again soon and successfully and all your bitterness will get wiped away when your baby is placed in your arms. Take care, Maggie (in VA)
I can imagine that it is a painful reminder when this time of year rolls around. Before we had our DS, we had a m/c, but it was quite early (around 8 weeks) at the beginning of March 2007 (way before our IF issues cropped up). We were crushed. I remember coming home from that fateful u/s appointment, falling to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably and just repeating over and over and over to God, "I trust you. I trust you. I TRUST YOU." Although I still think of the child that was to be at various times and especially in March, I just marvel at how things were worked out. We had our DS the next year...in March. What an awesome, awesome, AWESOME gift and at the perfect time.
Expanding your family WILL work. It may just not be at the time or in the way that you wanted, but I truly believe that once it happens, no matter the circumstances, it will be perfect.
Some days it is hard not to be angry. Some days it's hard to hear that some people magically fall into bed and have babies, and some of us have to pay $$$$ to take a chance at having a baby. Some of us have horrible miscarriages, painful medical tests ect ect.
Anniversaries can be particularly difficult, but some ppl just don't get that.