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Opinion Sought - Gender Selection?

March 1 2011 at 11:39 AM
Anon  (no login)

 
I am gearing up for my first DE cycle. I am 43 w/ no health problems, doing DE b/c of age related high FSH. The ED is 21 years old and proven, with lots follies from her last cycle, pregnancy on FET and lots of frosties left over.

DH wants a little girl.

I'm afraid if we worry about gender it will be at the expense of the best embies. We'll be looking for the girl-embies instead of great.

Has anyone done this? Thoughts on best vs. female embies?

I am always grateful for the wisdom of the board!

 
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LizLA
(no login)

Oh...I love girls. When we were doing our tx due to our age

March 1 2011, 11:50 AM 

we wanted a boy. The Dr told us it will reduce our chances of getting prego.

I remember reading somewhere that most blasts are boys...not sure how it works.

GL

 
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Maggie in VA
(Login maggie1961)

Have you just put it that way to him?

March 1 2011, 12:36 PM 

Cuz as much as he may want a girl, most DH's, just like their wives, just want it to work. Maybe he would be amenable to looking for the best embies for your first child, then focusing on gender when you go for a sibling if you had a boy first. That's hard! But, I admit, I really wish I could have had at least one girl. Take care, Maggie (in VA)

 
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W
(Login Wand6)

one thing...

March 1 2011, 1:26 PM 

unless you have already discussed this with, and indeed your clinic is 'willing' to do gender selection, you should know that not all clinics are willing to do GS, some do view it as unethical. if you haven't confirmed this with your clinic, it may be something to point out and discuss with your husband. have a discussion about not having the option to choose to begin with, may help you work out your ultimate position on the matter.

GL,

W

 
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Anonymous
(no login)

Re: one thing...

March 1 2011, 1:34 PM 

Yeah, the clinic does it. I don't love the clinic, but their stats are good. The clinic I love - of course - doesn't do gender selection....

 
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Anonymous
(no login)

Wilson - question on CGH and gender

March 1 2011, 1:42 PM 

did they offer to let you know what gender embryos were tx?

Thinking about doing CGH too just want to know what the rules are on telling... I think another poster here found out at tx but not sure if they let her choose?

 
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W
(no login)

no n/t

March 1 2011, 2:51 PM 

n/t

 
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Kenny
(Login Kenny2006)
Moderators

Barging with the answer in our case, you may be thinking of us... (kids/pg/mc)

March 1 2011, 6:16 PM 

We also did PGS/CGH for our most recent fresh cycle ttc a sibling - in our case, b/c we'd had 3 mcs with DE/DS, one before and two after our twins, and would have done anything to avoid another loss. So in addition to adding tons of immune tx/blood thinner, we also did PGS/CGH, though not for purposes of gender selection. We do have b/g twins from a prior cycle and had no real preference on gender - just wanted a healthy baby. (I probably would have chosen boy if we had to choose, and DH probably would have chosen girl, but we didn't need to choose and again, neither of us really cared and we wanted to use the best looking embryo, not one of a particular gender - having a HEALTHY baby of either gender was really the only thing we cared about.) Though we did agree we wanted to put in the one best looking embryo, I also asked to know the gender of that embryo on the day of transfer and they were happy to tell us; they didn't seem to have any prohibition on telling us. I think one person who did DE at our clinic did gender selection, so I think my clinic allows it? Not totally sure though as I haven't asked them that question.
Honestly, DE is such a crapshoot anyway, I would really put in the best looking embryo(s) even if you do CGH. GL happy.gif.
Kenny

 
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Anonymous
(no login)

thanks Kenny

March 1 2011, 6:47 PM 

yes it was your case I was thinking of where the clinic told you the gender... we would probably do the same thing with letting the clinic pick the best of the screened embryos whether it was male or female, BUT I know I would like to know the gender info after the embryo was selected. I think it would bug me that the info was already known at the clinic but I had to wait until a 20 wk ultrasound to find out myself!

 
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Kenny
(Login Kenny2006)
Moderators

LOL exactly - we've been ttc almost continuously for 8 years and I've done enough waiting

March 1 2011, 7:08 PM 

to last me a lifetime wink.gif. If the info is available, I WANT IT haha. Not that I'm a control freak or anything...
Kenny

 
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W
(no login)

sharing my feelings...

March 2 2011, 12:54 PM 

it doesn't bother me in the slightest that the clinic knows, but we yet do not. we are just beyond THRILLED at the moment that we actually, this time, have a pg that is thriving and we haven't lost it. after many pg losses, HEALTHY and LIVING is the most important. We will take all the HEALHTY AND LIVING surprises we can get!

I do wonder of course on occasion if the RE made a conscious effort of transferring one or the other, or a combo. he did pick out very specific numbered embryos, I do know that much, and the grade of the second embryo was one step down from best quality. we still have another 'best' grade on ice, among several. so maybe he gave us one of each, don't know, but we will find out soon enough and that is more than alright for now.

Again GL in your efforts, and Kenny is right, it's a gamble at best and DE just doesn't always work right away. so when it does work, first time or several times over, that is the BEST to be hoped for.

W


 
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Anonymous
(no login)

interesting... (child ment)

March 2 2011, 4:57 PM 

that they put back 2 screened embryos but did not automatically go for the two best ones. That makes me suspect (my opinion only!) that they did that to put in one of each gender. Either that or they didn't want to "waste" the best two embryos on one transfer, just in case there was an unresolved recipient issue, they would still have a "best" reserved for next try.

Reason for the CGH testing and freeze-all is I've already had a child via DE but it was a long hard road, I don't want to go through that again while I'm enjoying just being a mom. Plus (no offense) I do not really want twins, only interested in SET with screened embryos.


 
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Dee
(no login)

sperm sorting

March 1 2011, 2:48 PM 

ask about sperm sorting. They can sort out Xs and Ys. For example, if you want a girl, they can just give you the X sperm to fertilize the eggs.

Our clinic did this for us. But we couldn't decide, my DH wanted a boy, I wanted a girl. So they gave us half and half. Half X, half Y sperm.

Its no guarantee though, and they told us it could only improve chances of getting what you want.

 
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