Ok, we had our follow up with the RE following our BFN and can't say it was illuminating. Poor cycle, lots of possible reasons why, etc. Got some options for moving forward if we choose to - and reviewed available donors and their pros/cons. Still working through what feels right regarding next steps.
I asked him directly if there was anything I DID THAT LED TO THE BFN - ANYTHING I COULD DO DIFFERENTLY next time. He said no.
Then, by email, I get the summary report from our session (one thing I love about this clinic). In that report - a full 1/3 of it was devoted to my weight - the fact that my BMI is over 30. Yes, I am overweight. Like a size 14. But I have been this same weight through 5 IVFs and 1 DE procedure. If it was possibly a contributing factor - like he wrote in the summary - why didn't he say it to my face when I was searching for answers...why did he let me cycle without reminding me again. I know I need to lose weight. Has been next to impossible on the meds and with the IVF depression following BFNs...But to not have the decency to say to may face - - - COWARD. Ok I feel better now.
Anyway, annoyance at the RE aside, the facts are right. Need to drop some LBS. Have seen various things in "search" on what is best...but thought I would repost to get thoughts. Thinking Weight Watchers for 2 months to see if I can't safely lose 15-20 lbs.
I am sure that weight is contributing factor when TTC, but
March 7 2011, 6:19 PM
My cousin was 35 yrs old, 450 lbs. with first child. She was 38 years old when she had twins...didn't lose any weight. All OE. She did have high blood pressure, but otherwise uneventful pregnancies. I am about 80lbs overweight and none of my RE's have mentioned the weight issue with DE. Of course I know this is definitely not ideal situation and working on weight loss, but many women who are overweight have children with OE/DE.
there's nothing quite as frustrating as weight (mc, pg ment)
March 7 2011, 5:35 PM
My mother was the one who kept harping on my weight, pointing out that in England, the National Health won't cover ART for women who are even a little bit overweight. I pointed out to her that I read an article that said that the National Health won't cover it because they are worried about other health related issues like gestational diabetes, etc. But, of course, it's good to lose weight anyway so I did weight watchers and lost about 30 lbs. I've been slowly creeping up because of the good food here, the IF treatment and the depression from the mc. I was hoping to get pg at my lowest weight so I would be sure that I wouldn't go over my max while pg but, oh well, I guess I'll just try and be healthful and go back on ww afterwards if everything works out okay.
My parents bugged me about my weight for years and I was PERFECTLY NORMAL. Every pound. Like seriously--when I was 5 lbs. overweight and looked amazing, they bugged me to lose weight. The only time they ever were happy was when I was really thin.
Then when I really DID gain weight and got stuck there, they for some reason stopped making remarks!
Yes, there are some risks but there is also an overinflation of some issues because people have this idea in their mind that weight is so so awful and they exaggerate the risks.
Every trouble a fatter person can have a thinner person can have. And the statistics bear out that it can be a smaller risk but it gets inflated in people's minds--also because we tend to blame people for their weight.
IF is more frustrating for me than weight loss - but being overweight can be EXTEMELY difficult. The difference between what the RE said and wrote being a case in point...but I could make a list for you. I had family members who would make eyes at each other if I had a 2nd helping at dinner or (G-d forbid) dessert.
SO - I adpted my son and gained 50 pounds. I went from 135 to 185. At my heaviest I stepped on the scale and weighed 194. I was overweight for about 5 years.
I never did weight watchers and the tiny portions at Jenny Craig definitely did not work for me. It was like I needed four of them to make a meal...
I did Fat Flush, and for some reason it worked for me. I did not excercise until I was under 160 pounds b/c a.) I didn't want to go to the gym and b.) Everything shook when I got on the treadmill.
I think for me drinking LOTS of water/caffeine free diet drinks was key to filling me up.
I also knew very little about how to eat. I wasn't making good choices, which sounds simple - but I needed GOOD low fat recipes, I needed an apple and a hard boiled egg at the ready -but I didn't know that. Fat Flush made that easier. I started going to the gym when I weighed 158, and today I am about 137 lbs.
I have heard great things about ww. I did not have a work schedule conducive to day-time meetings and was too busy/tired after work to go.
So if WW doesn't work - I'd recommend fat flush (Louise Gittleman).
I actually did WW about 6 or 7 times before I was able to finally stick with it, but when I did, it definitely worked. The best thing was that it didn't feel like I was on a diet but like I was doing something I could live with for the rest of my life, since I could almost always work in the things I wanted. I like having the flexibility to eat whatever I want in moderation. Anyway, I think weight control is a very individual thing. Different things work for different people.
You're absolutely right, IF is infinitely more frustrating. On the other hand, I know that IF isn't my fault, just something I have to deal with, whereas I have to acknowledge that I do have control over my weight, I just choose to make bad choices. It's frustration with myself, rather than frustration with fate, I guess.
I am sorry that your doctor was not more responsive with you. I don't think you should associate your size with being overweight. My questions to help you find your way is do you think its food driven or exercise related? Maybe try a little bit of both to jump start it. I think weight watchers can work but I am a firm believer once you stop you are more likely to fall back in to bad habits. I would try to work on what your eating and when and coupling it with a little more exercise. I am by no means miss fitness so I hope this isn't coming off that way. eight years ago I lost approx twenty five lbs and have been able to keep it off. I hate the gym but I go. I could stand to lose a few more pounds.
Before I cycled the RE suggested I loose weight get my BMI way down. Well was that even possible after being overweight all my life to loose dramatically. All I kept thinking is delays. So I researched on the internet and found the article that says BMI has nothing to do with DE success.
I sent it to him and he scheaduled me for my first visit towards the DE cycle.
I would think maybe weight has something to do with your own eggs and hormones being off, however since these are controlled cycles hormones and all I don't agree. I only gained 7lbs the entire pregnancy and could not eat enough for the twins. Doctor had me on protein shakes 2 times a day. I made it to almost 35 weeks with twins. Some woman of perfect height and weight do not even make it that far. Hypertension was a problem but I have had hypertension for years. Preclampsia set in, but it set in for people with perfect height and weight and younger then me on the pink board. I was 44 when I delivered twins.
My suggestion drink red raspberry leaf tea to build your lining up to a few days before transfer. Eat lots of protein and fresh pineapple the day before, day of and several days after. I ate boiled eggs and pineapple juice for breakfast, chicken for lunch and dinner, pineapple for dessert. Stayed in bed for 48 hrs after transfer. Did any of this help? Who knows, but one thing we know for sure it did not hurt.
that is stupid. I conceived when I was about 15 kgs overweight.
The weight thing is a factor ()small one).
Don't beat yourself up over it. Truly you can't do IVF and not get over weight.
Stay healthy and exercise if the weight comes off so good if not feel good as you have exercised which - makes you feel good, best, TH.
p[s. do immune testing. A lot of ladies here, myself included, have immune ;probs which meant no conception possible.
I was scheduled to have a fresh DE transfer last weekend. I got the flu so we went ahead and froze all 9 of the embryos ( bit of a disappointment since I just learned only a third will survive the freeze, at least that's what I was told the statistic is). Anyway, NOW they tell me my Hgba1c is 8.3 and should be in the 6-7 range so I have started medication and joined a gym TODAY but it takes 3 months for that level to change so I may be out of luck with no FET for....3 months? I'm devastated! Why didn't they tell me this before? They KNEW my level was elevated 6 months ago.
Anyway, uncontrolled blood sugars are delaying my transfer.
I'm 5'3 and weigh 175 lbs.
I wish I had the answer for what works. I fail at all diets. I just need to change my lifestyle and chose protein instead of simple carbs which is my current way of life. I could kick myself for waiting until someone pulled the rug out from under me to do something.
Thanks for reaching out with some encouragement. I appreciate being able to share this frustration. I know it can be done but it seems daunting. Guess it's like everything else, one hurdle at a time and I'll get there. I think they need to be aggressively evaluating my Metformin dose too since no one has done that to this point. If I don't ask questions I think they're likely to drop the ball again. I am devising a plan and will start writing down what I'm eating today. I have to do that for the dietian appointment i have coming up anyway.
I don't know if this will make you feel better or not.
I did not want to do another fresh transfer, because all of them have failed. The only way I ever got pregnant was from a frozen embryo. I talked to my clinic about just freezing all the embryos for me, so I could do FETs instead. I did not want a fresh transfer. It may be that my body does not do well with all the drugs involved in doing a fresh transfer. I don't really know. However, they insisted on doing it their way - fresh transfer, and then freezing the rest.
It does help because we are so deep into this -3 years of trying and never actually completing an IVF cycle ( all canceled w/ own eggs and this was my 4th donor....problems with all except this one...and THIS one produced 9 embryos....I am still stunned that we are only going to get ONE chance...because i will only have approx 2-3 embryos survive the thaw...).
Anyway I was trying to say I LOVE to hear about pregnancies from FET! I'm holding on to the hope that this one chance will be the one. We decided to transfer 2 embryos since the doc said we have something like a 37% chance of twins if we go with two and we have an 85% chance of success with two vs. a 60% chance if we transfer one. I'm afraid I will have problems carrying twins but we don't have the $ to keep trying so this will be our last attempt.
I dropped my aic down to 6(was 7) by eating smaller portions, increasing h20 intake, and walking 30 minutes a day to start then went to 45 min. I cut out ketchup(was addicted) subs and most pizza(my favorites) For the walking part I just circled my neighborhood and did not go inside until that 30 min/45 min time span was confirmed by my cell phone time.
Night before fasting aic/urine test I ate 7 whole grain dumplings from whole foods(yum)dunked in soy/rice wine vinegar mixture) my sugar was the lowest ever recorded and I was scared I was going to pass out. I drank oj and thought I would fail...I did not. You have got to drink a ton of h20 before any blood test it really helps!!!
I just wanted to say I understand what you are going through!
It is hard to stick with (I fell off of it again lately...but I will do it again in honor of seeing you on here with the same struggle
If you need to ask more please do...it is the only thing I feel I have mastered in this whole IF b.s.!
I can deal with increasing water, walking, AND whole grain dumplins in wine vinegar....you did say wine vinegar right? lol! I am actually feeling better since the DOCTOR CALLED and said IF I go on insulin HE WOULD DO THE TRANSFER!!! YAHOO!! OH, HOWEVER I may still have to wait one additional month since I am on my menstrual cycle right now and I may have missed my window to start the meds and monitoring. We'll see what they say tomorrow. For now I'm thrilled! The nurse gave me a ration of heck saying it would be months but never suggested insulin. The doc said he needs a letter saying my OB would be responsible for managing my diabetes once I'm pregnant. I have an appt for Monday.
Thanks for the supportive post!! Really. This is a good place.
I'm technically a lurker ...I can't post my own headline since I never log in but I follow peoples posts and make comments here and there (never negative). I just like to know I'm 'not alone' know what I mean?
For me, focus on weight is really bad. I noticed when I started gaining weight on aygestin, I felt out of control and all of the sudden I was worse, rather than better.
I've been eating 9+ servings of fruits and veggies. About 2/3 of my meals are fruits or veggies most of the time. I am eating almost no meat. I go to the gym at least every other day. I'm gradually getting my cardio back and jogging.
I have lost NO weight that was not medication weight.
So far, anyway. My BMI is 32. I don't look horrible. I'm a size 14 because I do exercise. I have very large muscles so I don't look enormous. But I am definitely FAT.
This is a totally new theory though--the ignore weight/think about health. I just noticed how getting fatter from the medicine I was on really did this weird thing to me where I felt like I couldn't fix anything.
I have thyroid issues and maybe it makes it hard to lose weight.
But being super healthy every day is very motivating because I can say: Today I had 3 salads. Today I jogged for 3 miles and lifted weights for 20 minutes. And feel good about that.
...I think my fear of the way lupron can cause diabetes is kind of motivating me to be careful. But when I was on aygestin my blood sugar must have been insanely off because I could not stay away from sugars.
So don't beat yourself up because a lot of the things that drive to eat strangely are internal to the body and not a matter of will power.
Two things I learned that help some (1)eat small portions of carbs/proteins/fiber throughout the day and (2) don't EVER skip meals or not have food on hand. You have to keep a steady, even blood sugar or it will be much harder to eat in a healthy way. Your body will want to restore a good balance but your brain will see a rice krispi treat and think that's the way to do it.
It's just really interesting to see how your appetite changes when you change your blood sugar.
I don't have any kind of diabetes issue right now to my knowledge--I learned so much from a friend who does have diabetes how to keep from eating unhealthy snacks.
joining a gym this month.
meeting with dietitian. Weight watchers did not work for me but I am one of the few it did not work for. I was on anti depressants thats side effect was weight gain. so, there you have it. when I went off, lost 30 pounds. not kidding. now back on. grrrr.
Sorry that your RE was such a jerk!!! I wanted to share what has worked for me in losing weight. Last year I started seeing an acupuncturist for fertility who told me that I needed to clean-up my diet. I followed her guidance and lost 11 lbs.
She told me to cut out:
- white flour
- white rice
- wheat flour & dairy (I think this might have been due to my endometriosis)
- white potatoes
- fried foods
- canola oil
Instead she told me to eat:
- Lots of cruciferous Vegetables - I eat brussel sprouts sauted in olive oil and then I make homemade barbecue sauce and put it over them.
- Lots of fruits
- Long grain brown rice instead of white.
- Yams instead of white potatoes.
- Cold pressed olive oil instead of canola oil.
- Agave - Used this in place of sugar in my tea.
- Ezekiel bread - This takes a little getting use to but this is what made a big difference for me. You can buy bagles, wraps, taco shells, bread and English muffins.
- Drink lots of water
- Meat free of hormones and antibiotics. (Grass fed beef etc...)
She asked me to keep a diet journal for a week to see how I was doing and I think she gave me a couple sample diet journals. If you would like a copy feel free to shoot me an email. Good luck!!!